Raw.

I have been an absolute grump all (long) weekend.  And it is only as I was marching myself off to bed that I think my self pity really grabbed ahold of me.  I think sometimes the Lord allows us to wallow in it, in order to better see our humanity and sinfulness on the far side of it.

Two acquaintances were at the scenes of terrible trajedies this weekend.  The one witnessed the horror of a three year old being lost at a waterpark – to have been found dead in the three foot kiddy pool.  The other was on hand as a seven year old was hit by a car and killed while crossing the road at a boat race just up the road from my place.

And I find myself, finally, disgusted with my own whining.  As I kiss my sleeping babies on their heads, did I really snap at them for talking too loud?  Did I really lose my temper because they wanted to help vacuum the car, when I just wanted some space?  Did I actually get mad at my husband for enjoying his weekend, when I am less than a month away from having two days a week to myself?  While he works so hard to provide for this family?  Was I really short with my dog, for actually wanting to be with me?  These are my hardships?  Pathetic.

I have a three year old.  I have a soon to be seven year old.  My heart breaks for these families.  Thank God I have lively children to say goodnight to, even if it is over and over again.  Thank God for my many, many blessings that I take for granted.  Each day is a gift from above – may I remember.  And treasure.  And glorify Him for them – in thanksgiving, in a cheerful spirit.  We really do not think often enough about how fragile the gifts in our lives are….

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