Luxury Sins

My good friend Raquel introduced me to this term. I love it. I hope I do not butcher the definition (but at least I know you will correct me if I do! 🙂 ) but the basic idea is that there is a whole lot of crap that we allow to happen, especially between one another, that simply would be forgiveable non-essentials if we were in more dire situations.

This idea has really struck me – in the recent passing of my grandfather, and now my uncle. Over the course of the last few weeks I have found myself increasingly zealous to not allow relationships to deteriorate over the “small stuff” in life. My bond with my family has definately strengthened – over the hours in the car, on the phone, in funeral homes… Through tears and grief, and sorrow… As my Dad firmly reminded us to allow one another to grieve in our own ways without judgment… Some of my family can’t bear to be in the same room as the caskets… I find myself strangely unable to walk away. I did not want to let go, and I lingured…. We are so different in our grief.

And yet, while my family has pulled together – there are still smaller things that get magnified. Emotions are HEIGHTENED, and we all snap far too quickly. I want to say that I live relationships with no regrets. But it is hard. Hard to maintain the intensity one finds in sorrow. Hard to remain vulnerable (if there was ever something I suck at doing – this is it). My sister accuses me, rightly, of being the brick wall that no one knows how to console…

But I wonder – where do we go from here? What do we cling to, about one another, in the hurting moments? Are we really, actually going to allow name calling and miscommunication to break down family? And friendships? Are these luxury sins? Would they matter – do they matter – in the face of death?

I am contemplating the phrase in Hebrews: “Strive for peace with everyone”. What does that mean for me? At this point it means remaining neutral. And loving. At this point it also means apologizing – for allowing my own luxury sins to get in the way of relationships with sisters in Christ. At this point it means setting aside my own hurts, and bearing others’ burdens. At this point, it means really, really investing in the people around me that matter the most to me – of getting my life in the right order of things…..

I want to face my own death knowing I did strive for peace with everyone. It is easier to be mindful of in light of recent sorrows – may I not indulge myself in the luxury sins that so easily rob us all of the beautiful relationships we have been given….


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. raquelamisto
    Aug 19, 2008 @ 10:25:03

    I’d say that’s pretty dang close.
    I’m really busy drinking coffee right now. Call me when you get a minute.


  2. susan
    Aug 20, 2008 @ 20:12:33

    love you friend. thanks for sharing your heart, yet again. you aren’t always a brick wall. 🙂

    hope to see you one of these days.


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