You asked for this friend….

“If you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday.”  Isaiah 58:10 

I would be remiss, if I blogged and neglected what has become a large part of my life lately – being involved with a good friend Angel, and her new triplets.

I counted today.  Almost 55 women have stepped up to help in the last month since Angel brought her babies home.  Some are friends and family.  Some come from my church – many now are word of mouth…  A friend brings a friend, who starts bringing friends.

I am delighted to see Angel’s needs met.  But something that is striking me more and more, and which I find increasingly worrisome – is how much talk there is about this being abnormal.   

This year has been a truly remarkable path for me.  Things started with Beth Moore’s Bible study, and progressed from there.  I started gobbling up books.  Alot of them.  One a week, for months…. and I wondered – I knew God was preparing my heart, and my soul, and grounding me – and I was trying to be patient, and grow, but I wanted to be Doing as well… The Mansvelds came and stayed for a week.  Their life verse is the one I quoted at the top… and they live it – on the streets of Montreal.  And I found myself warming up to the idea of being useful.  Of not offering excuses any more…  They have no idea what an impact their visit had on my heart – I love how God works in mysterious ways like that. 

God is using babies to do some incredible things right now.  But the purifying process is gruesome.  I have alot to repent of.  I am helping now – but I have immaturally offered kind words that I have not followed through with in the past.  Vain talk.  Promises of getting together, to talk things out – that I have not followed through on.  Promises of picking up the phone, and forgetting to call back.  Cards that are supposed to be mailed out…. So many times, where good intentions have not prevailed, because I have not actually been intentional.  Grand schemes of saving the world, without even meeting the needs of my own family….

I am grieved, rather than encouraged by the help for Angel.  There.  I have said it.  It does not look as scary on paper as I imagined.   Why grieved?  Because we are actually surprised that her needs are being met.  Because… it’s a big deal…. 

It’s a big deal to cook a meal for someone who has been attending our church for ten years.  It’s a big deal to help hold babies once a month.  It’s a big deal to fold someone else’s towels.  It’s a big deal for more than a dozen women from a church to meet the extranious needs of one of it’s own members.  It’s a big deal to run errands.  Or to listen on the phone.  It’s a big deal to pick a daughter up from school.  It’s a big deal to ask for help, and to actually receive it…..

Have we come so far?!?!!?  I look at facebook – so, so many women whose comments groan with the frustration of puke buckets and sleep deprivation.  So many who can not take care of their families this week.  An exhausted mommy, who had to handle far, far too much on her own, because I didn’t care enough to be involved in her life…  You are another pivitol point in this for me Karen – whether you read this or not…. Pregnant, running a day care, dealing with sexist insurance agents over a tree falling through your garage – while your husband had to be out of town for a week…. and I didn’t even care enough to know.  Or help.  I am so, so very sorry friend….

I have enough regrets.  In my sheltered, sinful and naive existence, I have had the audacity to bemoan the lack of whores to visit in Sarnia, the lack of sinners to restore, the lack of beggars to feed.  And I have not even stopped to take care of Christ’s own body.  For shame.  Are we so apathetic to the world around us, that we can not meet the small needs in one another’s lives?  Are we so afraid of getting burnt out, that we quit before we start?  Will I ever, ever love you more than I love me?  For even a moment?  Will your need for a hot meal that you did not have to cook, be greater than my need to mop my kitchen floor?  Will your need for a nap be greater than my need to sleep off a headache?  Will your need for a listening ear be greater than my need to watch football?  May it not always be like this.  I trust the Holy Spirit to continue to thaw out my heart to the needs of others.  To not let me accept mediocrity any longer.  To satisfy the world’s curiosity – that I am provoked by an overwhelming need for God to be glorified in my life, as I pour it out to meet the needs of others. 

“But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?”  1 John 3:17


8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. raquelamisto
    Jan 28, 2008 @ 23:32:53

    “From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.”


  2. Heather Guerette
    Jan 28, 2008 @ 23:41:53

    I knew you could be much more productive tonight if I wasn’t there. 😉 You said it well. You are a blessing to many.


  3. Nicole
    Jan 29, 2008 @ 07:44:30

    Yes, but what are Your thoughts Raquel?

    I have taken your talking-to much to heart. I know not everyone feels the same burdens that I do, or you do. I understand that…. I just wonder, will our present age be seen much like the church at Laodicea – lukewarm, and not particularily useful? That of course hits closer to home – as I myself have been so oblivious to the needs of others for so long…


  4. Laurel Esser
    Jan 29, 2008 @ 10:03:20

    Like we were talking about earlier, I think we have it so backwards sometimes. I know I’ve spent lots of time thinking about how I can help people but never actually doing anything. And thinking that if I could just start helping people more then I would grow closer to God, but I’ve always had an excuse or a reason why I cant’t. But it works the other way around. When we grow closer to God we want to help, we want care for others and its no longer so hard to do, it’s no longer a burn out mission, it’s with a joyful heart. The verse that keeps coming to mind is, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” and I wonder how much I really beleive that sometimes. When we’re relying on Christ, He gives us the strength, He prevents the burnout, He makes it so exciting to want to glorify Him. When I’m praying and relying on God for my strength I can rely on Him to tell me when I need to recharge, I can reply on the Spirit to tell me when I need to slow down and spend some time in the word or praying. I can leave that up to Him to worry about. I think that’s why its such a big deal sometimes to help people. We want to do it on our own, but we can’t. We turn to everything else first and then to God for help. So excuse and reason pour out. But we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. (well when helping Angel I really don’t need that much strength from God, they’re so tiney I can hold them with one!)


  5. Nicole
    Jan 29, 2008 @ 12:06:35

    I love you Laurel.


  6. carol chudy
    Jan 29, 2008 @ 23:53:45

    One of the most frightening things that has happened to me in the past few years is that I have lost my capacity to care. I’m not interested anymore is trying to fathom the reasons, because I know that the Lord has been drawing me back to Himself – and that is where all right living and loving extends from.
    In my reading this morning I almost skipped over the 23rd psalm to get to the next one. After all, what new could there be? But, sensed the Spirit encouraging me to read and what a blessing! The words – “He restores my soul – He leads me into paths of righteousness for HIS NAME’S SAKE.” Reminds me of Ephesians 2:19 – We are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

    Paul exhorts us to stir up one another to love and good works. You girls have been a part of this “stirring up” for me.


  7. Nicole
    Jan 30, 2008 @ 08:01:26

    Thanks for being so open in your sharing Mom. I would say you haven’t lost the capacity to care… but I know what you mean…. I have thought I could put up bricks around my own heart, without it impacting others – but I realise the wall goes up brick by brick – and that by blocking people out, I have actually blocked myself in…. does that make sense?

    Afraid of being vulnerable, afraid of caring, afraid of crying, or letting others see me cry – they’re all bricks that actually build up a wall that impacts my ability to care for others. How are we going to be willing to let people IN, in order to be effective OUT?


  8. raquelamisto
    Jan 30, 2008 @ 11:17:49

    “I just wonder, will our present age be seen much like the church at Laodicea – lukewarm, and not particularly useful?”

    I guess it all depends on what your definition for “church” is then, eh? The word remnant comes to mind…

    “What has happened to us is a result of our evil deeds and our great guilt, and yet, our God, you have punished us less than our sins have deserved and have given us a remnant like this.”

    Let’s praise God that He is working on you! Don’t fret about the church. Let God be God and let’s just worry about our own obedience to the highest authority. He is Good for blessing you with this revelation!

    It’s been a blessing to watch you grow in real time, chica.


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