So, I had a few friends over last night, to watch Stardust (great movie, by the way).  Anways, they were checking out the fish in my husband’s tank in the kitchen (12 gallon – about as much salt water fish I want in the house) before the movie.  When we came back upstairs later, I commented on the fact that the goby normally digs a home out under the rock at the front of the tank.  Sarah said it was there earlier, but she spooked him when she had poked the glass, and he had apparently covered it up.

And, this morning, there he was stuffing his face with sand, spitting it out, clearing out the entrance he had blocked up the night before.  And I thought, “man, what an exercise in futility!”  And then I thought “That’s so me!”  I make headway, doing the things I ought to do, and then retreat, cover up my home, and hide at the slightest sign of anyone disagreeing with me. 

It’s kind of sad really – some things just do not change from when we are kids – I didn’t stand up for myself then either.  Was just the goby, minding her own business, until someone scared me back into my hole….

I do want that to change.  I believe the things I am doing, and saying, have significance.  I believe I am right when I talk (who doesn’t?)  And I believe there are things I ought to be doing, and not just backing down on when someone feels differently than I do.

So, for all of you who poke at my proverbial fish tank… I think I just might keep the house intact next time….  If I can work up the nerve.

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. raquelamisto
    Jan 11, 2008 @ 12:04:54

    It gets sticky for me when I bite the heads off of the people who want to tap on my tank… that’s probably not the best way to keep my home intact…


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