What I deserve.

I have been thinking on my chosenness in life – the absolute ridiculousness of my salvation….  It makes no sense to me.  I used to feel mere relief (mingled with gratitude, love, etc) – but lately that has transcended into more of an overwhelming grip in my chest.  I realise how very much I deserve hell, and eternal damnation.  I get to the end of a day, and crack open Zephaniah, and my heart quivers in His presence.

I have made a mockery of Calvary.  The gospel is grievously cheap in my life.  I do not live at the foot of the cross, nor with a cross on my back.  I do not deny myself (anything at all really).  I do not pour myself out for the poor.  I do not live, in general, as though I believe I walk in the only hope of eternal life there is – covered in the blood of Christ, and His righteousness.  Back to Zephaniah….

 After quoting the last couple of verses of this little book the other day, I wondered what the rest of Zephaniah looked like.  Maybe it was all this beautiful poetry of God’s love.  Ah!  Not so much…..

God talks about sweeping everything away from the face of the earth (1v2).  Of cutting off all those who profess both God and Milcom (the Ammonite god 1v5).  Verse seven tells us to “be silent before the Lord God!”  And my heart listened – as he warns those who are complacent (is this not me??) – those who “say in their hearts ‘The Lord will not do good, nor will He do ill.'”  (1v12)

And what is the day of the Lord?  bitter.  wrath.  distress and anguish.  ruin and devastation.  darkness and gloom.  clouds and thick darkness.  (1v14-15)  Nothing I do not deserve.

“I will bring distress on mankind… because they have sinned against the Lord; their blood shall be poured out like dust, and their flesh like dung….”  It just goes on and on in this manner.  It was a sobering read, because I know this is what I deserve. 

Praise God for preparing a way!  Praise Him for sending His Son – fully God and fully man, to offer up Himself in our stead.  I am looking, at the turn of this year, to live a life of sacrifice for Him – and trusting Him for guidance on this.  Trusting that 2008 is more focused, and God glorifying than previous years…..


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