Fragile.

I was listening to a Piper message the other night (desiringgod.org if you’ve never heard of him) and he was talking about how much shorter life seems now than it did when he accepted his pastorate at 36, about 20 years ago. And my mind screamed “NO!!!!!!!” For, at only 26 it seems so fragile already.

I don’t feel OLD, I didn’t like turning 26 (first quarter century done), but the last year has given me a new perspective, and the length of time we have on this earth is so very, very short. A speck in eternity. The feeling makes me want to breathe, really really quickly into a brown paper bag.

I do not fear death. Whether I make it to 102, or only 32. If I did not think that those around me would miss me, I would rejoice at the thought of going home tomorrow. I can not wait to stand in God’s throne room! When my heart worships, I envision the courts, full of the train of His robe, with thousands around… I see Christ on His throne, nail-scarred, and I find myself eager to wipe His feet with my tears. He… perfect God… hung on a tree, for me! Oh, it’s no wonder the great hymnists can write of a fountain filled with blood… like it were a good thing!

I want to see my children grow – I want to cry at my daughter’s wedding, cheer at my son’s graduation. I want to kiss my grandchildren goodnight, and sit on a beach in Fiji with my best friend and our husbands. I want to see the glory of the Lord fill the hearts of those who are close, but do not know Him. I want to learn how to listen twice as much as I talk. I want to lead more Bible studies, and help girls birth their babies. I want God to get the glory for my every moment – but wonder how this can be. I want to hear each of my children rejoice in the fact that God is their Savior, and be present at their baptisms. I want to kiss my husband goodmorning every day and goodnight every evening. I want to trust in the Lord’s understanding, and not my own. I want, I need, to know that those around me feel loved by me, that they know I care, and why. That I am not all talk and no action. That no one feels left out, left behind, or left hurting…..

I want to live in God’s Word, and His presence.

It is not just Piper who has reminded me of life’s brevity, and fragility. My Uncle was diagnosed two weeks ago with cancer. And while he may have hope in surgery, he has no hope in the here-after. Oh, God! Awaken in his heart a need for You, and a knowledge of his sins! He found out the day after his 49th birthday just how fragile life is…. and life seems too, too short.

So too; I think on dear friends – who question the fairness of God… may you see that every breath we take is more than we deserve! Oh, delight in the Lord, while He may be found! Whether you know Him yet or not – my prayers for your hearts is that you will trust Him.

So, while we still have today, may we live to not waste it. Life is, after all, made up of days.

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